


Concatenation Over Wine

by gomushroom



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-30
Updated: 2012-08-30
Packaged: 2018-10-12 03:31:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10481112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gomushroom/pseuds/gomushroom
Summary: Almost a decade has gone by since that unresolved '83 wine incident.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Jun day <3! I did plan to do something else, something that could offer more than just this but awful RL timing and horrible writerblock are awful and horrible ugh. Repetitions for the purpose of repeating the repeated points are obviously intentional.

He has barely been twenty for a few days when Sho paused on the doorway, denying himself from looking back at Jun’s undoubtedly wet face, and left saying, "I am not that nice, okay."

All the thoughts of sharing the wine, sitting down and having the conversation he's been waiting for as long as he remembered, all the thoughts of having his hope raised and crushed the next minute linger. Still Jun refuses to blame the wine.

It's a damn good wine after all, and he’s not going to waste a damn good wine, that’d be a shame, and a waste, and since he’s repeating himself already, that can only mean that he’s really putting the damn good wine into good use. Good use indeed, that damn good wine. Sho is totally missing a damn good wine. And a good chance, but Jun should not tell him that, or should not feel hurt over that, or should just chug the damn good wine instead of sip it like what he’s doing right now, savoring the taste, the bitter taste, the unfamiliar bittersweet taste, the hints of faint familiar salty drops mixed into the sweetness quaff taste.

It was a damn good wine.

  
**.**

  
Few birthdays later, when Jun thought that it's about goddamn time that they sat and deal with what they've brought upon themselves, when Sho has changed considerably, when he himself has changed even more than considerably, when everything is not, yet oddly still feels, the same.

"I am not nice either," Jun finally replies. "So, what are you, or perhaps if you’re inclined, _we_ going to do then?"

  
**.**

  
Sho silences him with _that_ glare; a glare that Jun hasn't seen in a long while, that dismissive stare that shook him too often back, that degrading look that made him lost hope countless time in the past, a glare that always tugged Jun's heart hard and crush his own defensive wall; it's something that they both acknowledge and share in their own complicated way of relating. Jun has done dealing with this kind of Sho once, he then accepted the fact even before Sho did. And they somehow made peace with the complicated ways.

But unresolved matter will still be unresolved, at least if it has to stay unresolved, an effort in attempt on resolving said unresolved matter should be taken so when it stays unresolved at the end, even if the matter itself will stay unresolved for god knows how long, at least the attempt on resolving has been made and he could deal with that. Or he could deal with that since he’ll be confusing himself trying to sort the unresolved by not resolving anything during the attempt itself. See? Already dazed and confused even when he’s merely trying to reason his reasoning. And he doesn’t even have wine this time.

Jun stops the internal flow of justification, switches his mind to some deal of baked potato recipe before he’s playing with words in his head again, and waits for Sho’s reasoning. After all, almost a decade has gone by, almost everything has changed yet almost everything stays the same.

Then Sho begins. "No. You were wrong, and for this I am willing to fight you to the end to substantiate my saying that you are damn wrong. You _are_ nice. Stop pretending that you are. You can put that mask of indifference but I will always know that it's all masquerade, and it's all feigned.

“I was an ass, that much I know and acknowledge, but even if I am not a total ass anymore I'm still an ass. Not totally, but yes, you'll get what I mean, right? I am saying that, ah, I don't mean to say more and more thing about metaphorical ass but as I was saying..."

As Sho trying to make his argument, as Jun sometimes wonder how a man whose work mostly dealing with delivering clear and eloquent speech has this tendency to be totally blabber mess in front of him, only with him, well that, especially, has been, well and truly noted though, it’s well past midnight, it’s already the last day of August, and it’s just the end of a long ordinary day, so any pretense on having the conversation on the exact day will be discarded happily and, there’s nothing wrong falls out

"What I was trying to say," Sho swallows and continues, "is that, you are a nice person. You damn are. And I couldn't handle it when I was young and stupid, and I still couldn't handle it now when I am no longer that young but indubitably still stupid."

Jun might have wade his time, wait for a while, a long while, try to settle with himself and get comfortable with everything around him, including Sho and his feelings and Sho’s feelings and just everything, but it might be worth the time, worth the wait and worth all the effort.

  
**.**

  
This year, Jun silences him right back with _that_ glare; a glare that Jun has had perfected once in a year of his mid twenties, that uncaring and intense stare that surprised himself at times, that look that has made Sho throttle back in consideration and, just a little hint of, fear, a glare that almost always shielded Jun’s heart at times; Sho learned the hard way long ago and has come to acknowledge Jun’s own complication in return.

“I said once that I was not nice. And particularly I am still not nice. I am okay with being not nice, so, you know what, maybe we can be not nice to each other,” Jun says. “You can be not nice to me right now, I can handle it since you had been not nice for a long while back then. I do know that I can be not nice to you right back because I've done so in retaliation for the past too. We can definitely be not nice to each other. Or if one time that I want to be nice to you, I can then make it up by being not nice to you later, double time, and you can be not nice to me, and we can just be basically not nice. Or something like that”

At the words, Sho lifts his head, revealing a soft smile. “We are definitely going to talk about being not nice to each other soon enough, aren’t we?”

Jun nods; at least one thing is settled. "Or skip the talk and just start being not nice to each other," he says.

"Or something like that. Yes," Sho leans back against the chair, a little lost on what to focus on within the warm living room with fingers still pinching the end lining of his shorts, a tattletale sign, Jun has learned long ago, that he was nervous and unsure of himself.

  
**.**

  
The silence that follows doesn’t hurt so much, Jun muses, as Sho awkwardly fidgets on his seat, as he himself stares at his empty wine glass on the table, and realizes that it is rather appropriate. They are rather appropriate; for each other that is. 


End file.
